More waiting

This photo has absolutely nothing to do with what I'm about to write, but I've been feeling anxious lately so I thought I could use something to make me smile. So maybe this photo is more appropriate.

(both photos from http://www.nataliedee.com/)

In case you can't read that, it says "Anxiety Girl! Able to jump to the worst conclusion in a single bound!" And boy does that describe me these days. So get ready for another "Woe-is-me-and-all-my-problems-that-aren't-really-problems-angst" post.

I've started applying for more MBA programs, which is just a painful process of simultaneous self-examination and self-doubt. I am so excited and determined for the end goal (education and degree), that I wish I could just start now. And wanting to start now is creeping into my job. I'm day-dreaming, essay planning and distracted. It probably doesn't help that I notified my company CEO that I would be leaving this summer. I had hoped to have some firm plans in place, but here I am in application limbo. Being in this gray area is delaying my plans of notifying co-workers, friends, family and blog readers. That's right, I plan to have a big "I'M OUT" post in which I tell you more details about me, my husband and our dogs, work, home, etc. I'm even going to post a picture. Trust me you'll love it -- we're adorable.

Until that day -- wish me luck and Xanax-free days ahead!

The first cut is the deepest

....and then comes the second.

Back when we last left our hero (me), I had successfully submitted two applications to the top MBA programs of my choice: Stanford Graduate School of Business and McCombs School of Business at UT Austin. I was hoping that my next post could be a "Pluckiness, sensibility and smarts triumph for our young heroine" style entry in which I announced the lucky business school that had accepted me into their program.

But sadly it was not meant to be. I received notice from Stanford GSB in mid-December that I was not offered admission. So I wallowed for a little bit, and then left for vacation to California over Christmas. Fast-forward to last week when I received a similar message from McCombs: thanks, but no thanks.

As long as we're talking honestly, I should say that after I received the notice from Stanford, I had my doubts about McCombs. That rejection put me in a tough position -- the first rejection. And when I say first, I don't just mean my first business school rejection. I mean my first rejection that meant something. I am not writing this to elicit sympathy (well maybe a little -- hi, sweetie!), but to share something meaningful to me with my readers. I was accepted to my first choice college, gotten the jobs I wanted and put everything I had into ensuring that I lived up to the confidence that had been placed in me.

And I guess that's the hard part for me to take -- not getting to prove myself. But here we go for more applications. Cross your fingers for me and my pinkie promises that we'll write more as we head toward the home stretch.