2013: The Triumphant Return

Amy does still exist. And she's been going fast and furious since the start of her MBA program, which apparently also makes her speak in the third person.

Yes, I'm back. It's funny -- when I started this blog, I thought it would be a great way to keep record of my MBA experiences and observations. I've hesitated to blog extensively about my program, because for me some of the most dynamic experiences have been working with the people in my program. And I am not ready to have a public conversation about such a small program, because dynamic means warts and all, and I still want to be friends with the people in my cohort :)

Prior to applying to MBA programs, I read Snapshots from Hell: The Making of an MBA by Peter Robinson (though my copy had a much more '90s-tastic cover design).


I imagined I would be able to chronicle my MBA career in a similar manner, but as classes picked up steam and I began to think about the implications of writing a similar "tell-all," I scrapped that idea. I guess there was a reason Robinson wrote his several years after the fact and made his characters amalgamations of his classmates.

But I still like a good story, and lately I've been full of them. 2013 not only marks the triumphant return of my blog, but also: Final MBA semester, MBA graduation, job search, a Portland summer with my husband, training for my first marathon (Portland Marathon in October!), my 30th birthday, and many other adventures that I cannot yet conceive. These are things that I want to chronicle and contribute to the broader blogsphere, so expect more regular posts. Let's go get 'em!

September memories

This morning on my commute to school, I heard a brief story on NPR about the planned September 11 memorial in New York this weekend. The story itself wasn't great and you can check it out here: Clergy Insulted By Speaking Ban At Sept. 11 Events.


Contrived conflict aside, it made me reflect on my memories of September 11, 2001. I replay that day in my head every year on the anniversary and other times when people ask me, but I realized I had never written anything down. The memorials and media reflections seen especially poignant this year, marking a DECADE (Emphasis my own. Has it really been that long?) since the attacks on that day. As more years go on, I'm sure I'll remember things differently, so I wanted to take the time in advance of the upcoming anniversary to write this down.

In 2001, I graduated high school. In September of that year, I began my undergraduate studies at Columbia University in New York City. Yep. THAT New York City. In September. I started classes on Tuesday, September 4. I remember because it was my sister's birthday. In addition to getting to all my classes, I was stressing myself out because I hadn't gotten her a card or anything. But I made it through that first week of classes.


The following week, on Tuesday, September 11, I was running out of my dorm for a 9am class. I was cutting it a little close, because it was about 8:50am and I was just leaving my room and headed to the hall for the elevator.


SIDE NOTE: Because the Columbia campus is right in the city where space is at a premium, most of the dorms were high-rise and I lived on the 12th floor of my freshman dorm. When I came home for Christmas during my first year, my family wanted to take me out for a nice dinner and so we went to the Top of the World restaurant at our local Hilton hotel. My dad pressed the button for the restaurant on the 15th floor and I burst out laughing, "My dorm has 15 floors!" New York wins again.


So back to me walking down the hallway at 8:50am on September 11, 2001. I walked by a guy named Bart's room, where he was yelling "Whoa, look at this!" and pointing at his TV. Already running late, I kept moving and made it to my 9am Political Theory class on time. Class lecture went as normal until about halfway through when a woman came in and whispered something to the professor. Professor Dalton announced with some confusion that classes had been cancelled for the rest of the day due to the incidents at the World Trade Center, but that we would finish our class.


After class ended, I was walking back to my dorm wondering what could have happened that would cause classes to be cancelled. I approached the main gates at Columbia's campus and found them closed, save for one where I had to show my school ID to a security guard. During the rest of my four years there, this was the only time that ever happened. 


Reaching my floor in the dorm, I found many of my other floor mates in the hall lounge glued to the TV. One tower had already collapsed and I was just in time to see the second tower fall. I remained in that lounge the rest of the day glued to the TV and trying to soak in the events happening a few miles from me. One of my floor mates had an uncle on the second plane to hit the WTC tower. This was the footage news stations kept replaying. I didn't see her let go of her pillow all day, and found her in the same place the next morning with the TV still running. 


As scared and confused as I was, I remember being struck by the resiliency of New Yorkers. There were images of people holding and helping each other as they ran from the WTC site. In the following days, I would learn of the 343 firefighters and others that died helping people at the site. While I was watching the news, a group of Columbia students came around asking for donations of medical supplies to help the then unknown number of survivors. I managed a bottle of ibuprofen and saw people lining up outside St. Luke's hospital to donate blood.

I fell in love with New York when I first visited and decided to attend Columbia. I fell in love all over again as I saw the city come together in the aftermath of this tragedy. And as an extra special bonus, I fell in love with the New York Yankees as they played in the World Series that October and seemingly had the backing of the whole nation to triumph (this might be the New Yorker view of the world talking).


TODAY: I still love the Yankees. I still love New York. And I am pleased to say that I was just entering the Holland Tunnel to New York when I found out the news that Osama Bin Laden had been killed. I reflected anew at the WTC site. 


EXTRA SPECIAL TODAY BONUS: Now living in Portland, beginning my first year in an MBA program, I was walking through the International Test Rose Garden and saw Professor Dennis Dalton, my political theory professor from my first year at Columbia. He was walking with his grandchildren and looked really happy. I wanted to say hi and thank him for his teaching ten years ago, but I let him enjoy his moment. Professor Dalton informed a lot of my views about nonviolence and upon further reflection, probably helped me understand the world events from that first year in New York. Since I didn't say it when I saw him, this is my thank you.

And in this month's news...

I just noticed that my last post wast July 13. It is now August 24 and I have started my MBA program at Willamette. I am still interested in keeping this blog as a tracking tool for all the changes and new experiences over the next several years. A public diary that will help me remember things and stay accountable for others.

So for my own notes and possible expansion and explanation letter here is a short (or not so short) list of things that I have accomplished since July 13:

• Packed up most of our belongings and shipped it via U-Haul U-Box on July 24
• Completed work on July 29 
• Shipped my car from Anchorage to Tacoma on August 1
• More packing, cleaning and preparing duplex for rent during the first week of August (including painting, and FINALLY finishing our flooring project)
• Flew to Portland with our dogs on August 6
• Arrived at new apartment in Portland
• Picked up car from Tacoma and drove back down along the Washington and Oregon coasts (and visited Aberdeen, WA -- home of Nirvana)
• Explored Portland, including Oregon Zoo, VooDoo Donuts, Powell's Books, Santeria (Mexican restaurant with surprise strip club in bathroom), and taking the MAX
• Watched the Meteor Show at the Woodstock Mystery Hole (also explored wonders of the Mystery Hole and took a trip down the Mystery Pole)
• Spent time with family in Portland (including two young nieces!) and an old friend from high school
• Purchased a new mattress and took my first trip to Ikea
• Put together Ikea bed frame, nightstands and couch (!)
• Completed orientation week for the Willamette MBA program (included trip to Willamette Valley Vineyards and day at the ropes course)
• Started first semester as Willamette MBA student

Phew! Writing that list made me exhausted. Or wait, that's the reduction in sleep making me exhausted. I am commuting from Portland to Salem four days a week. There have been so many busy and fun things that I want to provide updates on, but I think I will work on those as I have time. Future updates will focus on Hammer real time.

Back in the Saddle

The title is meant to help me feel more in control than I actually feel. So many things going on but right now it seems like everything is happening around me. Not that I want this blog to be exclusively about First World problems.

So. About that long absence. I noticed my posts were veering too far into some complaints about the MBA admissions process than I was willing to share. So I took a hiatus from posting until I had completed the process and matriculated at my chosen school. Which happened right before Memorial Day this year. And without further ado.....

I'll be attending Willamette University's Atkinson Graduate School of Management to earn my MBA! I'm super excited to move to Oregon and be a part of this program. Willamette was at the top of my list once I started submitting applications again this spring.

And since I've chosen my program, the process of moving and making plans has begun. Updates on the regular coming....

Run Amy Run

So I am fast and furious in the process of submitting my (hopefully) final MBA applications and scholarships. The essay writing comes in bursts for me. A moment of brilliance here. An insight there. And the ongoing text and internal edits. But I'm making it a priority because I've promised myself the gift of new running shoes when it's all said and done.

These are my current shoes. They've done many miles of training and even helped me run my first half-marathon last year. They have been fabulous shoes except for one thing: I think they are UGLY. With a capital UGH. I even teasingly tell them that when it's time for a run, "Come here you ugly little things, let's DO THIS."

I am a running shoe devotee, so when I find a pair that works I end up buying the same brand and style again and again. These were actually my first pair of Nikes in years when my trusty New Balance runners inexplicably did not work for me the last go around. So now I'm in the market for another pair of Nike Lunarglides and I had resigned myself to the expectation of another ugly pair.


Check out the
Nike LunarGlide+ 2 iD Running Shoe
I designed at NIKEiD.comUntil this. I can design my own Nikes. MY OWN. I don't know how many times I've looked at a pair of shoes or piece of clothing and thought about how I would redesign it. Problem is, I have limited sewing abilities and even less patience so I've gone ahead with my off-the-rack buying habits. In hindsight, it's probably limited my clothing buying since I'm always picky about one little something on an item I'm considering.

But these shoes are a thing of beauty. I'm already more motivated to run. And wear these suckers out so I can design another pair. I'm so genuinely excited about the design possibilities, so I'm posting this out of enthusiasm and no incentive from Nike. Though I'm not above any potential incentives (cough*Nikeareyoulistening*cough). I'll let you know how the process works out in a few weeks. Until then, beautifully designed Nikes, you will be mine. Oh yes, you will be mine.

More waiting

This photo has absolutely nothing to do with what I'm about to write, but I've been feeling anxious lately so I thought I could use something to make me smile. So maybe this photo is more appropriate.

(both photos from http://www.nataliedee.com/)

In case you can't read that, it says "Anxiety Girl! Able to jump to the worst conclusion in a single bound!" And boy does that describe me these days. So get ready for another "Woe-is-me-and-all-my-problems-that-aren't-really-problems-angst" post.

I've started applying for more MBA programs, which is just a painful process of simultaneous self-examination and self-doubt. I am so excited and determined for the end goal (education and degree), that I wish I could just start now. And wanting to start now is creeping into my job. I'm day-dreaming, essay planning and distracted. It probably doesn't help that I notified my company CEO that I would be leaving this summer. I had hoped to have some firm plans in place, but here I am in application limbo. Being in this gray area is delaying my plans of notifying co-workers, friends, family and blog readers. That's right, I plan to have a big "I'M OUT" post in which I tell you more details about me, my husband and our dogs, work, home, etc. I'm even going to post a picture. Trust me you'll love it -- we're adorable.

Until that day -- wish me luck and Xanax-free days ahead!

The first cut is the deepest

....and then comes the second.

Back when we last left our hero (me), I had successfully submitted two applications to the top MBA programs of my choice: Stanford Graduate School of Business and McCombs School of Business at UT Austin. I was hoping that my next post could be a "Pluckiness, sensibility and smarts triumph for our young heroine" style entry in which I announced the lucky business school that had accepted me into their program.

But sadly it was not meant to be. I received notice from Stanford GSB in mid-December that I was not offered admission. So I wallowed for a little bit, and then left for vacation to California over Christmas. Fast-forward to last week when I received a similar message from McCombs: thanks, but no thanks.

As long as we're talking honestly, I should say that after I received the notice from Stanford, I had my doubts about McCombs. That rejection put me in a tough position -- the first rejection. And when I say first, I don't just mean my first business school rejection. I mean my first rejection that meant something. I am not writing this to elicit sympathy (well maybe a little -- hi, sweetie!), but to share something meaningful to me with my readers. I was accepted to my first choice college, gotten the jobs I wanted and put everything I had into ensuring that I lived up to the confidence that had been placed in me.

And I guess that's the hard part for me to take -- not getting to prove myself. But here we go for more applications. Cross your fingers for me and my pinkie promises that we'll write more as we head toward the home stretch.